Sleep Away

Do you ever find that when you are falling asleep, you suddenly get this great idea that you really just must get up and write down, because it's the cleverest/most original/funniest idea ever? And then you don't get up and write it down, because, one, you're just too comfy, and two, the idea is so incredible that you have no doubt that you will remember it first thing in the morning, at which point, you imagine, you will either write it down, or tell someone, and it will be awesome, and you get points.

 But what inevitably happens is that along about lunch time you vaguely remember you were thinking something last night, and it seemed terribly clever/important/hilarious at the time, and it had something to do with cats, or bananas, or squeezing a rubber owl in a vise, and what you can remember of it now seems weird and pointless. 

 

Well folks, this is one of those times, but this time, around about lunch time, I remembered exactly what I was thinking but didn't write down. And it goes like this:

There are some people who, although they may love travel, hate staying in hotels or motels. There can be many reasons for this, but for me, I just can't sleep in a strange place. I wake up every few minutes and by morning, I'm loopy from not sleeping at all and get up and pee in the closet. I think if the place had a more homey feel, I could get past this. But what could the establishment do to help this along? They're not going to duplicate the experience of grandma's afghan or that just right recliner you bought at a yard sale, or that mucus-colored wallpaper that you hate but somehow find comforting. But there's one thing I think they could do that would be both feasible and effective. 

 

Smell.

Smell is the most powerful sense for evoking a sense of place and stimulating emotion. And just as you can buy "new car scent" in a can, it shouldn't be hard to generate lots of "homey" scents that can be sprayed into a room before you check in. When you make your reservation, you pick from a list of scents that the hotel provides. For the most part, these would not be flowery, air-freshener scents. Remember, we're trying to make you feel at home. These would be every day scents of a busy and occupied household. Here's some possible scents you could choose from:

Someone cooked bacon about an hour ago.

Mom's dyeing her hair again!
Dad's off the wagon.

Dampness.

Joe Bob played football again last night.
Beer, cigarettes, and forty-year-old carpet.
The ice chest from that fishing trip, which will never be the same.
I have thirteen dogs.

Babies!

That party from last weekend that you still haven't finished cleaning up after.

Oh my God, what did the dog do?

Grandma, your pilot light is out.

Old newspapers and pet urine. Smells like home!

You get the idea. If I walked into a hotel room and instead of smelling that distinctive "sanitized hotel room" scent, I got a whiff of Joe Bob's pile of jockey shorts or the ubiquitous hidden cat barf, I'd immediately feel more comfortable. 

 

Any suggestions? What would make you feel at home away from home?